Scramblin' thru... Hundred Years' War
Go get 'em Joan! [Click picture for a larger version.]
Because 1337-1453 equals 100...
Two wars between France and England helped usher in (and usher out) knights and feudalism.
In 1066, the Norman Conquest when France's William the Conqueror invaded England. He used knights to help win, and the Normans built castles in England and introduced feudalism. Several centuries later, William's descendants claimed a legal right to the French throne. When France started retaking territory controlled by England in France, the Hundred Years' War (1337-1453) broke out. In battle after battle, French knights were mowed down by English longbowmen that fired arrows capable of piercing armor. The turning point occurred when a teenage peasant girl named Joan of Arc told the heir to the French throne that she had been sent by God to save France and to give her an army. He did, and she scored several victories... but was then betrayed and burnt at the stake by England. By 1453, France finally drove out the English, securing victory in the war. Yes, children, France won. I'll repeat that. France WON. By war's end, knights were obsolete thanks to English longbows and guns. Castles proved worthless because cannons could take down their walls. The entire feudal system broke down as people developed loyalties to their countries rather than their local lords. The war solidified the French/English rivalry, which continued up until World War I. 
Did the F-Bomb come from this war?
NO!
But it's a fun story (even if it's 100% false). So, the story goes like this... France was supposed to win the Battle of Agincourt. (I dunno, maybe the Odds Setters in Vegas figured France was due for a victory...) As such, the French threatened to cut off the middle finger of all English soldiers. Without this finger, it would be difficult to draw back the longbow. Well, the longbow was made of the yew tree. The act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking yew". After the English were victorious, they waved their middle fingers at the defeated French and shouted, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!" Since "pluck yew" contains a consonant cluster, when said repeatedly, it gradually changed to a "f" sound. Thus, the word is used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute. 
After awhile, it's almost too easy...
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French and English history have been forever
intertwined. In the 9th and 10th Centuries, England's King Alfred the Great and his successors drove out the Vikings and united the kingdoms in England into one. In 1051, King Edward the Confessor, knowing he would never have a son, promised that the crown would go to his French cousin, William the Duke of Normandy. On his deathbed, Edward instead gave the crown to a powerful English noble, Harold. William landed an army in 1066 and defeated the English forces and killed Harold at the Battle of Hastings. He was then crowned King William I "the Conqueror". William is credited with bringing feudalism and the census (in the form of the Domesday Book) to England... and forever involved England and France in each other's affairs. 
"How you doin'?"
Pitched battles were battles where the armies picked a time, date, and location. There were three pitched battles during the 100 Years' War (yes, you read that right... THREE). They were: Crécy, Poitiers, and Agincourt. England smoked France in all three battles. (Raise your hand if you're shocked...)
Battle of Crécy England: 300 KIA France: 10,000 KIA Battle of Poitiers England: 70 KIA France: 6,000 KIA Battle of Agincourt England: 400 KIA France: 9,000 KIA 
Hey champ... why don't you sit the next battle out?
He's fine. He's just sleeping... with 2 arrows in his chest.
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Get it?!! Hahahahaha! [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Hey! You all were thinking it... [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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War propoganda from World War I. [Click the picture to learn more about WWI.]
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Before, During & After Map of the War
This map of the Hundred Years' War shows the capture (and eventual loss) of French territory by England.
Soldiers of the Hundred Years' War
Peasant soldiers. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Swordsmen. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Knights/foot soldiers. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Pikemen & Javelineers. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Cavalry. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Mounted knights/armored lancer. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Basic archers. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Longbowmen. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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Spearmen. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Heavy infantry. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Shock troops. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Halberdiers. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Lancer. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Mounted knights/swordsman. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Crossbowmen. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Master bowman/assassin/sniper. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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Weapons of the Hundred Years' War
Caltrops, which were scattered around the battlefield, were designed to lame and bring down horses. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Basic in their design, caltrops were a nasty item to step on for any living creature. (Hope you had your tetanus shot!) [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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Horse stepping on a caltrop. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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The longbow was a "super-sized" version of the standard bow-and-arrow. As you can see by the strain on the man's face, they aren't easy to draw back. This, however, helps explain why they could fire arrows that could hit speeds of 250 mph (which means they're traveling roughly 366 feet per second). A well-trained and professional longbowman could hit a target at distances exceeding 400 yards. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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In looking at the design of the tips of the arrows fired by longbows, it's no wonder they produced devastating effects on those they struck. They were shaped this way to keep the wounded soldier from pulling the arrow back out the way in which it came - rather, the only way to remove a longbow arrow cleanly was to push it through the victim's wound... and out the other side. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Ummmm... yeeeaaa... might as well leave that one in... [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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The English handgonne - while horribly inaccurate - was an attempt to harness the explosive impact of gun powder (yes, pun intended). While they initially looked more like a pool cue or giant confetti popper, by war's end, both armies had prototypes of the early musket. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
The original "boom stick". [Click the picture for a larger version.]
Another day, another dollar... [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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Happy New Year!!!
Here are members of the U.S. Army assisting the firing of a handgonne. As you can imagine, handgonnes are NOT the weapon of choice for the U.S. Army today... [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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While nothing like the cannons that come to mind when we think of the U.S. Civil War or in the present day, the French cannons developed during this conflict helped revolutionize warfare - and negated the advantages of the English longbow. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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The general consensus is that hand cannons originated in China during the 1200s. From there, they spread to the rest of the world. [Click the picture for a larger version.]
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Fun with Google!
Try this the next time you're on Google! When you get to the main Google page, type in "French military victories" in the search box. Then click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. This is the screen shot you'll get. It's simple fun at the expense of the entire French military. What CAN'T the Internet do?!